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I didn't come by the blog website by accident or design. I was guided to it by a friend at the time, who was savvy in such things and well ahead of the curve in all things social and online. In fact, they even introduced me to the concept of people and their 'entitlement'. Like I said, she was ahead of the curve. Upon reflection, there is much I learned from her, even in terms of being made aware of certain musical tastes. I do miss our conversations at times, as hers was a mind of discovery and exploration, and I was fortunate enough to be part of that journey for a time - so I would, even though I know she will never see this, just like to say, "thank you."
Back to my reason for blogging: as some may, or may not know, I have a long term love of traditional pencil & paper role playing games, primarily running them. That was the basis on my blog - offer advice to aspiring, novice dungeon masters & game masters, and even players. I drew upon my own experience, the ups and downs, pros and cons, with a sprinkling of game session events that have stuck in my mind.
All going great. Then I encountered other bloggers who were interested and active on the writing of fiction. Out of curiosity I dipped in for a look, and without realising, had fallen in completely. That was the evolution of my blog. I drifted away from the rpg advice stage, and moved into flash fiction, short stories, drabbles and even the odd poem. I even combined them with music videos on the odd occasion.
Then I stopped.
The conversations drifted away. My mind was tired, my ideas had dried up like a puddle on a scorching pavement. I felt lost. I was adrift in a sea of nothing. I focused on work, my health and physical well being, and the few friends I chatted to online. But like a jigsaw with a pieces missing, I was still incomplete.
But here I am. Drawn inexorably back to my creative companion. My blog. I suppose if I had to define this thing I do it would be thus: 'blogging is like a conversation with myself.'
That's it in a nutshell. Thoughts, ideas, topics and images pop into my head, swirl around in a blender of creative wonder and reprocessed on this innocuous platform. In many ways I can imagine this is what it must be like to be a ghost - if you are of the mind to consider such entities occupy our realm - moving through the real world, seeing, hearing, interacting, and ultimately communicating via a medium that only a certain few are aware of and can make sense of. Otherwise, you go unheard, unseen, forever wondering if it will ever change?
So going by that train of thought, does that make me a ghost of my own mind? Possibly. It does make sense to a certain degree, as you can indeed haunt yourself, interacting with the other ghosts from your past, and even those of the present, who are, I am glad to say, but a solitary few.
Ultimately it can be a cathartic experience, a way of purging ideas that gives them form, sometimes even function, and on occasion, clarity. We all need expression in one shape or another.
This blog is my home, my shelter, my escape. It is an open house in the middle of (and I quote the immortal Johnny Silverhand ) "butt-fuck nowhere".
If you're one of the few to make the journey here, welcome, I appreciate your effort.
I close and leave you with the brilliant (and quite fitting), 'Never Fade Away', from the official soundtrack of the game, Cyberpunk 2077 - and a link for the curious.
Until the next time.